Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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