thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
