So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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