I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
