I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
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For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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