You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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