I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
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Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
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No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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