He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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