i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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