what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize