walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
