so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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