I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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