there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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