I look better un-naked...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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