You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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