the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
