So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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