The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
