May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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