i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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