I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
