i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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