i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Just fell off a train. Bad.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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