I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
