I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
