when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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