I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
