I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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