Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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