well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
