You made me cry and you don't even care
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize