After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
