I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
