yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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