Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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