you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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