I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
