shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Two words: blizzard sex
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
