Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
