So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
