you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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