He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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