We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
