Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
