We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
