It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
