remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
