Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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