i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
