you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
