i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
