I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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