She said her name was "party"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
