I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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