My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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