I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
