He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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