and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
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Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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