you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
