i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
