Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
