Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
