My first STD was from a foam party
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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